Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
