Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
