i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
