We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
