Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
