my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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