Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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