I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
