i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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