3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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