There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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