I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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