i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
