I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
