how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
