I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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