Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
