My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
