I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
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He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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