Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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