ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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