And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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