dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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