You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
