party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
