Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
