she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
