Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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