I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
