Ambien. No doubt about it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
