Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
okay pat passed out under dana's car
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
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I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
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If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that