We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours