why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street