If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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