I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
