What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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