Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...