Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.