Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
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I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
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You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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