I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.