One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
NoShamevember. You game?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Terrible idea I love it
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.