I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit