I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This is my gift to your gina
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
