alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
