Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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