Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So here I am, sexting at work.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
