If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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