the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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