Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
