I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
