There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
