I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
