im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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