i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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