you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
