Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
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i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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