Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize