He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
