i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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