drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
