Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
