btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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