Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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