Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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