i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
