She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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