In America we eat man semen.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
