if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
People in love make me want to vomit
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
